Everything Wrong With: Camp Camp
by Anarchy Undead
Summary: Based on CinemaSins Everything Wrong With series, only uncensored. Rated M for foul langue and other adult stuff you'd expect from this show.
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: The following is a parody of CinemaSin's "Everything Wrong With" series. If you are unfamiliar with their humor, I suggest you go watch their content first. The intent of this Fanfic is for comedy and entertainment purposes only. With this in mind, you should know that the feelings of the creator of this fanfic, towards the web series in question (Camp Camp), will not be accurately reflected here. That being said, the creator has no intention of offending anyone involved with the shows creation (RoosterTeeth), its franchise, the show itself, or the people who like the show.)**

 **(A/N: Hey everyone! Just letting you all know that I am still working on my RWBY fics, I just need to cut my teeth on something a little easier first and, after this, I'll be working on my Warhammer fanfic: The Bloody Path Walked. I'd also like to give some credit to user** **lknmjh, whose Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil fics inspired me to make this. Anyway, without further ado, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy.)**

* * *

 _ **Everything Wrong With: Camp Camp**_

 _ **Season 1, Episode 1: Escape from Camp Campbell.**_

 _ **Spoilers**_

 _ **(Duh)**_

* * *

(Scene fades in to a woodland road scenery leading to Camp Campbell, where a rabbit is hopping along, until an eagle suddenly swoops down and snatches it away)

 **That's the first joke? I was hope for a stronger start from you, RoosterTeeth. (ding)**

David: Can you believe it, Max? We're getting not one, not three, but two new campers!

 **As a RWBY fan, I can't help but hear a little bit of Jaune's voice every time David talks. I know they're done by the same voice actor, but it's still a bit distracting. (ding)**

Max: Yep. It's really, truly horrifying.

 **As a RWBY fan, I can't help but hear Sun's voice every time Max talks. And it's even more distracting this time as Max just sounds like a grumpy, angsty Sun. (ding)**

Max: Well, it's definitely not because the bus only comes in from the city to drop off and pick up campers and so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp. Definitely not that.

David: Heeeeyy... language.

Max: Suck a dick-

 **Y'know, I only recently got into watching this show because, for the longest time, I thought this would too childish for me. I thought it would be more 'RWBY Chibi meets Dora the Explorer'. That oughtta teach me not to judge a book by its cover. It should also teach any little kids that decided to watch this show under the same assumptions a few new words to use. (ding)**

Max: I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exsist.

 **I'm with Max. David is waaaaaaaay too happy for his own good. It's kinda creepy in its own way. (ding)**

David: (runs up to the approaching bus) Hello! Welcome to Camp- (gets hit by the approaching bus) *screaming*

 **If he ain't dead then he shouldn't be getting up anytime soon. (ding)**

Nikki: *heavily inhaling* Oh yeah, smell that nature! Oh that's the stuff.

 **As a RWBY fan, I can't help but hear Nora's voice every time- wait... that's Winter's Voice actress? Winter Schnee's voice actress also plays Nikki?! Wow. Kudos to her, she's got range. (reverse ding)**

David: (gets up and shakes away the pain)

 **Hey! I said he shouldn't be getting up anytime soon! He got hit by a bloody bus! (ding)**

David: My name is David, your camp-

Nikki: (bites his hand)

David: *screaming in pain* (trying to shake her off)

 **Guess she doesn't know that that's gonna be the hand that feeds her for the next few months. (ding)**

Neil: Um, excuse me? Is this Science Camp?

 **I've never been to a Science Camp before, but I doubt it would be in a place like this. (ding)**

David: Well, you two will be happy to know that Camp Campbell is both of th- (gets hit by the bus again) *screaming*

 **Seriously, how has he not broken anything yet? (ding)**

Quartermaster: You're on your own, now. (changes his hook-hand into a hand hold a bottle of what I can only assume is poison) Going on break, be back for the bus at noon.

 **I'm already getting some bad vibes off this guy... (ding)**

David: The first stop on any good tour is the flagpole! (salutes) I can't help but give it the official Camp Campbell salute every time I see it. (salute down) Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which- (salutes again) Oh! Sorry, saw the flag again.

 **David is such a god damn tool. (ding)**

David: Tell 'em just how much you love it, Max!

Max: (Nikki & Neil looking at him) See, that's the sad thing. He still thinks that I love it.

 **Overly happy, a tool and delusional? How do you function, David? (ding)**

David: Gooood morning, Gwen!

Gwen: Motherfucker!

(absolute chaos in the mess hall)

 **Well, that's one way introduce a chara- wait a minute. He says good morning like it's the first time he's seen her that day. Was David just standing out in the driveway all morning waiting for the bus? No wonder she's like this, she has to deal with 7 (8 if she had to deal with Max as well, and she probably had to) crazy kids on her own! Pick up the slack, David! (ding)**

Gwen: (throwing cutlery at Space Kid who, somehow, tapped himself to the ceiling fan and is spinning around on it)

 **Ok, how is throwing knives and forks at the problem going to solve it? (ding)**

Space Kid: (spinning right round, baby, right round) Crank it to high, I can take the G's!

 **Had to double check it, but Space Kid and Ruby share the same voice actress. Again, props to some good voice differentiation. (reverse ding)**

Max: I'm telling you, if we leave now, I can hot wire that bus.

 **How? You're 10. Is hot wiring vehicles just a class they teach in the US now? (ding)**

Space Kid: (falls to the ground when the fan stops) I'm okay.

 **You shouldn't be. Even with the helmet on, that should have hurt. (ding)**

 **And why didn't anyone try to catch him? (ding)**

David: What the gosh darn heck happened?

 **You left Gwen to look after the kids, alone, while you were out bus watching. (ding)**

 **Also 'gosh darn heck'. (ding)**

Gwen: Okay, let's... show them the video.

David: Actually, (slowly pulls out an acoustic guitar from nowhere behind him) I was thinking I could play them that song I've been-

Gwen: (stops him) I'm gonna stop you, right there. No.

 **Yeah, no. (ding)**

Gwen: I'll get the laser disc.

 **Laser disc? What, did their beta-max player break down or something? (ding)**

Nikki: What about that astronaut kid?

Neil: Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please.

 **That's... Astronaut-ist? Is that even a word? Well, it is now. (ding)**

Camron Campbell: (climbs down a ladder in his underwear while David is still talking)

David: (hasn't notice Campbell at all) A savvy businessman, extraordinary philanthropist, and one heck of an adventurer if I do say so myself.

 **Is David just that dense, or does her just not have any observation skills whatsoever? (ding)**

Campbell: *laughing* Well I'm certainly not hiding from any authorities if that's what you're thinking.

David: What?

Campbell: (slaps him on the back) Haha, come on, Davey!

 **Yeah, he's just that dense. (ding)**

Gwen: You have for years, sir.

Campbell: (draws her in for a tight hug) Haha, oh Grace, you slay me!

 **How long have they been working for this guy? and how has he not learnt her name by now? (ding)**

Neil: So far every attempt to answer our questions just raise more questions

 **Neil would be great at Cinema Sins. (ding)**

(A car screeches to a halt outside and two agents step out)

Campbell: In fact, we should go on that tour right now, all of us, away from this spot. (hurries the kids and councilors outside)

 **Well, that's not suspicious at all. (ding)**

Gwen: There's Extreme Sports Camp,

Ered: (skateboards down one ramp and goes straight through another)

 **Health and safety code? What's that? (ding)**

Gwen: Art Camp,

Dolph: *speaks in a German accent* It's a dog!

 **... no comment. (ding)**

Nerris: Lightning bolt!

 **Barbra Dunkleman is not punning in this scene. (ding)**

David: Well I'm glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing-

Gwen: No.

David: When Gwen's not around.

 **Again, no. (ding)**

Max: (running without looking) If I can just get to that bus before it heads back! (runs into David's legs and falls down)

 **Can David teleport? Is he secretly Slenderman? I'mma say he's secretly Slenderman. (ding)**

Max: You are the bane of my exsistance.

 **Perching to the choir, Max. (ding)**

Neil: Excuse me, what the hell is this? (he gestures towards 'SciENcE!' Camp, with its melted Bunsen burner, its magnifying glass micro-scope, and its beakers made out of wood)

 **So much to sin and so little time. I'll just give it one and be done with it. (ding)**

Neil: I just wanted Science Camp, not Science Camp and more! I don't want more!

Campbell: Well that's why you read the fine print, sport! (uses the magnifying glass micro-scope to show 'and more...' in the fine print on the brochure) See, right there. And more. Now you can't sue us!

 **Campbell you sleazy git... (ding)**

Nikki: So, what? It's just some sort of Camp Camp?

 **Roll credits. (ding)**

Max: Woah, check out the balls on new kid.

Nikki: (looks down at herself) Where?

 **Nikki temporarily forgets what gender she is. (ding)**

Gwen: Look, kid, I know it's not-

Campbell: (interrupts her) Stand down, Gretchen. I'll speak to the children.

 **How hard is it to learn someones name when they told you it MINUTES ago! (ding)**

Campbell: (is being shot at by agents, uses Space Kid as a shield, the bullets deflect off of his helmet)

 **What the hell is that fish bowl made of? (ding)**

Campbell: (talks into his 'watch') Code black, code black!

(an off-scene helicoptor drops a ladder in front of Campbell)

 **Was there just a 'chopper waiting in a pocket dimension for the command to pop back into real-space to rescue hiss sorry ass?! I am so confused right now! (ding)**

(David, Max, Nikki and Neil just stand where Campbell was while the agents are still shooting)

 **Two sins here. First for these idiots just standing their while PEOPLE ARE SHOOTING IN THEIR DIRECTION! (ding)**

 **And the second for the agents themselves. What's with these guys? I've seen Stormtroopers with better aim. (ding)**

Nikki: ...Well, he seems nice.

 **Oh, you poor naive girl. (ding)**

Gwen: Oh god, it's coming back! The crippling depression and anxiety!

 **I'd recomend that she seek professional help, but if she works at this place then chances are she can't even afford amature help. (ding)**

Gwen: (in the fetal possision) Why did study for a liberal arts degree?

 **Well, that explains the depression. (ding)**

Nikki: Hey David! Why don't you sing us that song you won't shut up about?

 **Nikki, why?! (ding)**

David: (strums guitar) Ooooooooooooh!~ (David begins singing)

 **This song is too damn upbeat and catchy for my liking, but I'll just give it one sin since it was cut mercifully short and I'll never hear it again after this. It'd be real annoying to hear it every friggin' episode. (ding)**

Gwen: The kids are gone.

 **And you're letting them get away, why? (ding)**

(In place of Max, Nikki and Neil are knitted dolls of themselves. Max's fulls over with a 'THUD')

 **Okay, the Max dummy I get, it was established earlier and he had at least a week or two to make, but how were they able to whip up a Nikki dummy and a Neil dummy so damn quickly? (ding)**

Nikki: (throws her 1st Day Camper badge at David. It hits him in the face and he falls down, which also trips Gwen over when she tries running past)

 **DOUBLE KILL! (ding)**

Max: Remember this face, David, cause you'll never see it again!

(The bus drives off with Max laughing)

(Cuts to the next scene with the bus crashed with the main cast and an agent standing near the wreckage with the Sleepy Peak Sheriff writing up a ticket)

 **'Character says one thing, but the contrary thing happens in the next scene off screen' cilche. (ding)**

Sheriff: I'm getting real tired of having to come up here, David.

David: I know, Sal.

 **David and the Sheriff are on first name terms? Just how many times have things gotten out of hand at this shit whole of a camp? (ding)**

Neil: Well, I mean in hindsight none of us really know how to drive.

Gwen: Yeah, honestly Max, how far did you expect to make it?

 **That... is actually a good question. (ding)**

Nikki: I'll be honest, I just always wanted to drive a bus.

 **Grand Theft Nikki. (ding)**

Max: Let's go, guys. I'll take you to our tent.

 **Are the tents in this camp co-ed? Even so, isn't it the counselors decision to- ah forget it, Max seems to do whatever he wants around here. (ding)**

Gwen: This is gonna be aweful.

 **It's just the first episode, Gwen. Don't judge it too harshly just yet… despite the fact that that's what I've been doing this whole time… sin! (ding)**

David: Oh, come on Gwen! (punches Gwen in the arm harder then he should have)

 **Dude, you hit a girl! Not cool, man. Not cool. (ding)**

Gwen: (beats David with his own guitar)

David: *screams in Terror and Pain*

 **Okay, that was funny. Taking off a sin. (reverse ding)**

(outro music plays)

 **As much as I like this song, it sounds like a carbon copy of 'X gonna give it to ya'. (ding)**

* * *

 **Total Sin Count: 56**

 **Sentence: Death by Bus. (*David screaming in pain*)**

* * *

 **(Ah, that was fun. Let me know if I missed any Sins or if there are any in Episode 2 you wanna point out. Until then, Follow/Favorite/Comment, and I'll see you next time!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**(Disclaimer: This is just a friendly reminder to everyone that I own neither Camp Camp (which is owned by RoosterTeeth), nor the Everything Wrong With series (owned by the people at CinemaSins) and I encourage everyone reading this to go watch both of those shows first to understand the jokes here. I love both these shows and thought putting the two together would be awesome. That is all.)**

 **(A/N: ...Fucking exams. Don't know how other college students cope with this sort of pressure. Anyway, sorry for the hiatus guys and gals, life just sucks right now. But it won't be long before a can relax a little. I'm still hitting that wall with my RWBY fic, and their are other fics I want to do as well... all that the same time. The ideas in my mind are like a dozen squares trying to squeeze into a round hole all at once. But I digress. Here's a new chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Not sure when the next one will be posted... Also, CAMP CAMP SEASON 3 Y'ALL! WOOAH!)**

* * *

 _ **Everything Wrong With: Cam Camp**_

 _ **Season 1 , Episode 2: Mascot**_

 _ **Spoilers**_

 _ **(duh)**_

David: And here we have our time-honored camp mascot, Larry the hamster.

 **First of all, it's Larry T. Hamster XI. Give him the respect he deserves, David. (ding)**

 **Second, why is David showing the campers Larry now? This seems like something he should have done on the campers first day. I'm not sure how time passes in this show, but I doubt this is still Nikki and Neil's first day and the other kid should know who Larry is by now. (ding)**

David: Say 'Hi' Larry.

David impersinating Larry: Hi there, campers! I hope you're ready to have fun today!

 **David is either trying too hard, or has seen way too many little kids shows like 'Dora'. Probably both. (ding)**

Nikki: Are you a gypsy?

David: Uhhhh...

 **Wait, is he? It's never brought up again and the hesitation implies that he is. I wants answers damnit! (ding)**

Max: (puts a marble in a strangely shaped branch)

(*Noises of a masterfully-built Rube Goldburg machine*)

 **Oh, so that's what those contraptions are called. Always found those interesting. No sin.**

(A catapult hurls a rock, with the words 'Fuck the police' painted on the side, straight at Larry. Knocking the hamster out of his hand with a loud *THUNK!* and flying off into the distance.)

Larry: (Squealing in hamster as he and the rock are sent to an island in the middle of the lake)

 **Christ, everytime I see that scene I die a little more of laughter. Reset the Sin counter. (reverse ding back to 0)**

Max: Aw man. (looks at David) That was suppost to kill you.

 **But immediately add a sin for a child actually trying to murder someone. Yes I find David overly happy and annoying more often than not, but that doesn't mean you should kill the guy. (ding)**

(Theme song begins)

 **Wait... THIS is the shows theme song? David's catchy as hell song from last episode? One that we'll be hearing with each new episode?... Oh boy, I'm never getting this out of my head. (ding)**

David: Well, Max, we were GOING to make hand-made ice cream, (leans in closer to Max, looking angry for the first time) But someone killed our mascot and now we need a new one becAUSE EVERY GOOD CAMP HAS A MASCOT, MAX! (pants in frustration before regaining his composure and smiling like he never had an outburst)

 **Two episodes in and Max is already breaking him? I thought he would have lasted longer. I mean, yeah Max deserves it, but I wasn't expecting him to yell at him like that... yet. (ding)**

 **Also, where is Gwen in all this?**

Nikki: Lady-sickness. My mom used to get that all the time.

 **Ah. No sin there then.**

Neil:... How do you cure it?

Nikki: (the shot zooms in on Nikki's face and everything goes darker) EDGE CLOSER TO DEATH. (the shot zooms out and everything is back to normal) WOO! Mascot hunt!

 **God damn mood whiplash. What the hell just happened? (ding)**

Nerris: Yeah! Like a unicorn!

 **Barbara Dunkleman is now punning in this scene. (OK, this running gag got old quick. One more sin, then never again.) (ding)**

Dolph: (jumping up and down) It should be fierce! Und pure!

 **Again, no comment. (ding)**

Quartermaster: C'mon now. *grumbling* (drags a sack across the forest floor, the sack is leaking a lot of... red liquid)

 **Umm, okay, wow! That's not suspicious and creepy at all! (ding)**

Neil: You SERIOUSLY want to go in the woods with the bad guy from every horror movie EVER?!

Nikki: Yeah, he's gonna turn you into a skin suit.

 **Neil's right. Nikki... well, I can't say she's completely wrong. (ding)**

Max: Besides, anything's better than hanging with DAVID.

David: (is all teary eyed) *Sniff* Sorry everyone, just... really overwhelmed by all this friendship right now.

 **Between the almost certain death at the hand/hook of a creepy old dude and David... I'd say it's about fifty-fifty. (ding)**

Max: (rises his hand, volunteering to go with the QM)

Dolph, Neil, Ered & Harrison: (take a step back)

 **Max kinda brought this on himself, here. (ding)**

David: That means you too, Magic Kid... Magic Kid.

 **You'd think David would at least know the names of his campers, or at least come up with a nickname for each of the ones he doesn't know. Having two "Magic Kids" is probably confusing as hell. (ding)**

Harrison/Nerris: Illusionist!/Sorceress!

 **Don't push it kids, you're just two different types of nerds. (ding)**

Nikki: (appearing in a tree, upside down) How many talons would you say we're looking for here?

David: (nervous) Heheh, um...

Nikki: You know what? I'm just gonna do my own thing. We'll talk after. (disappears into the treetops)

 **I wouldn't be surprised if she came right back holding a tiger or crocodile or something on a leash. Those animals don't live in trees or this part of the world? Do you really think that'll stop here? (ding)**

David: Nerris! Play dead!

 **Oh, so now he remembers her name. (ding)**

Nerris: I'm out of mana!

 **I'm no expert on D &D, but I'm pretty sure "Play Dead" isn't an action that requires any mana. (ding)**

Nikki: Look! (points to a set of bear tracks) I smell a mascot!

 **Well, bears do mark their territory, so- wait, no, NO! Bears make bad mascots Nikki! Stop!... She's not gonna stop is she? (ding)**

Max: Look, man, we can just go back to camp and relax. Gwen can be a mascot.

 **Max is being an unwarranted douche to Gwen. (ding)**

QM: You need to see BEYOND the camp. Into the true beauty of nature!

Max: Uh... this looks like the place where teenagers go to get stabbed.

 **Max would be great at CinemaSins. (ding)**

Nikki: (with Neil, in a cave, looking at a bear skeleton) NOOOHOOO! I would have fed them porridge. And it would have been just right!

 **I'm no animal expert, but I pretty sure porridge is part of a bears natural diet, regardless of how "just right" it is. (ding)**

 **And that's just ONE reason of many of why it would be a bad idea to have a WILD BEAR AS A CAMP MASCOT! Seriously, that's just asking for trouble. (ding)**

Platypus: (suddenly appears) *Hissssss!*

Nikki: Pssh, what's that? Doesn't look very cool.

Neil: That's a platypus.

 **Again, no animal expert, but last I checked, the platypus is an animal native to Australia. What's it doing near a summer camp in North America? (ding)**

Nikki: (approaching the Platypus) Awesome! You're coming with mama!

Platypus: (jumps up, balancing on it's tail, waving it's legs and bearing it's teeth at Nikki) *Hissss!*

 **OK, I am positive that a platypus of any kind has teeth. (ding)**

Max: Hey, so how'd you lose that hand anyway?

QM: *Grumblerumblerumble* the JEWS. *Grumblerumblerumble*

Max: ...I feel like you should be more specific.

 **Regardless, I'm like 99% sure that's racist. (ding)**

Max: *Sigh* Well, I guess Nikki was right. Enjoy wearing my skin!

 **Wow... he accepted death way too quickly and calmly for a kid. What the fuck, Max? (ding)**

Squirrel King: (holds out his paw as the Quartermaster approaches, stepping onto his hand when he offers it. Even a stoic like Max is enchanted by the scene before him)

 **This scene is so pure and beautiful. I'm gonna take off a sin-**

QM: (impales the Squirrel King on his hook, blood spouts from the wound)

 **Never mind, adding two... (ding, ding)**

QM: (takes the Squirrel Kings crown and puts it on his head, forest animals start attacking him, but he fights them off) I AM YOUR KING NOW! THE THRONE IS MINE!

 **What the fuck is even going on anymore? (ding)**

Eye-patch Squirrel: (speaking in squirrel) Your actions will have dire consequences!

 **No, seriously, what is this? I don't even... (ding)**

David: (holding a clipboard with "Positivity + Max = Success" on it)

 **Playing favourites David? I could have let that slide, but why show favouritism for the one camper that hates your guts the most? I don't get you. (ding)**

Nerris: It's a wizard's amulet.

David: ...Which can be recycled, and become anything it puts it's mind to!

Nerris: It gives me +1 Dexterity!

 **Homer Simpson sound clip: NERD! (ding)**

Harrison: (just made a rabbit disappear into his hat) Ta-da!

David: Wh-where'd it go? Bring it back!

Harrison: Oh... I don't know how. This is kinda why I'm here.

 **If you knew you couldn't get it back, then why did you put it back? This is why you should have gone to Hogwarts, dude. (ding)**

David: AH! Kids, get to the pier!

(everyone ruses to the pier and are now cornered)

Neil: Where do we go now?!

 **It's not like you're boxed in guys. Just jump off the pier and get around it. It's not much of a jump and the water looks shallow enough for most of you to walk in the lake. (ding)**

Nikki: (sounding excited) I WANT A VIKING'S FUNERAL! LIGHT ME UP!

 **What is it with these kids and their swift acceptance of death? (ding)**

Gwen: (appears from nowhere and grabs the platypus by the tail)

Gwen ex machina. (ding)

David: Well, I mean, I think this is all pretty normal...

(Horns and fanfare are heard as an army of squirrels carry their new king, Quartermaster, who sits upon his oaken throne. Max is also present, walking along side them.)

 **"Normal". (ding)**

Gwen: ...I need more Midol.

 **I like Gwen. She seems to be the most relatable character in this show. (reverse ding)**

David: I guess the platypus is our new mascot!

 **It was just chasing you a minute ago and was planning to attack you and the campers with it's poisonous kicks. How is this a good idea to you?! (ding)**

Platypus: *Mwack*

 **...Never mind, Platypus is now best character. (reverse ding)**

Larry: (pulls himself assure, out of breath, but otherwise uninjured)

 **Larry survived being hit by a rock, being catapulted to an island and the swim back from said island... somehow. (ding)**

Platypus: (eats Larry)

 **Well, never mind then. But I'm pretty sure Platypi don't eat hamsters. (ding)**

Ered: Pussies for life.

 **Has RT put that on a shirt yet? That sounds like a big seller. (reverse ding)**

Max: ...So what's with the Quartermaster and Jews?

 **I think the less we know about that the better. (ding)**

Mwack the Platypus: *Muack*

 **Muack. (reverse muack ding)**

 **Total Sin Count: 35**

 **Sentence: Death by Platypus (Muack)**

* * *

 **(Keep following me guys, I ain't dead yet!)**


End file.
